Why Jennifer Lopez Doesn't Think She's Ever Truly Been Loved

Access Hollywood

90,587 views • 6 days ago

Video Summary

Jennifer Lopez candidly discussed her personal life on The Howard Stern Show, revealing that she doesn't believe she's ever truly been loved, attributing this to partners not being capable of offering genuine love. She also reflected on her past public relationships, stating a desire for more privacy moving forward, acknowledging the necessary compromises that come with fame. A significant portion of the interview focused on her journey of self-love, particularly learning to appreciate her past self, symbolized by a seven-year-old barefoot child, and finding inner peace. She also shared her deeply emotional experience of trying to conceive for three years before welcoming twins with Mark Anthony, and how the pandemic prompted her to re-evaluate her role as a mother, realizing the importance of being present for her children over being the sole provider. In retrospect, she expressed immense pride in her Super Bowl performance with Shakira, viewing it as a powerful representation of two Latin women, mothers, and hard workers

Short Highlights

Believes she has never truly been loved, but has experienced loving others.
Acknowledges a need for greater privacy in her romantic life due to her career.
Underwent a profound journey of self-love, learning to appreciate her younger self.
Tried to conceive for three years before having twins with Mark Anthony.
Realized the importance of being present for her children after a conversation during the pandemic.
Proud of her Super Bowl performance with Shakira, seeing it as a representation of two Latin m

Key Details

Unfulfilled Love and Inability to Receive [00:04]

J.Lo expressed that she doesn't believe she's ever truly been loved, though she has experienced loving someone.
She differentiates between not being lovable and her partners not being capable of love, suggesting they "don't have it in them."
She acknowledges that while partners offered material things like houses, rings, and marriage, they "didn't love you and I didn't love myself."

"And when you can't get that love back, what I learned, it's not that I'm not lovable. It's that they're not capable. They can't love."

Navigating Public Relationships and Privacy [01:01]

J.Lo reflected on dating in the public eye and her decision to keep that aspect of her life more private moving forward.
She stated she doesn't feel doomed from the start of relationships and previously wanted to share her life openly, including big moments and everyday activities.
The experiences of the past few years have led her to desire more quietness in her romantic life, though she admits it's hard when happy.

"But the truth is, when you're in this type of career and you have the type of level of fame that we're talking about, there is a compromise. You have there are adjustments that you do need to make because it is a very blessed life."

The Compromises of Fame and Personal Life [02:09]

J.Lo understands there are compromises she must make for a healthy relationship, acknowledging a trade-off with her career.
She admits her personal life has suffered at times due to her career and it took time to learn how to navigate this.
The realization that she needed to change her behavior was a key step toward having a successful relationship.

"And that's one of the trade-offs is that you have to learn how to navigate your personal life. And my personal life has suffered at times because of that."

The Journey of Self-Love and Childhood Appreciation [03:07]

J.Lo has worked on learning to truly love herself, believing in true love but also questioning if someone could love her if she didn't have her looks.
She asserts that she never had to worry about looks and has the liberation that comes with it, stating the work of her life is about self-love and knowing she is worthy.
She learned to love the "kid inside," referring to a seven-year-old barefoot girl, and realized she hadn't given that child credit for her achievements.

"The work of my life and it's not because of beauty is about self-love is about knowing that I am worthy of love and people paying attention to me and not leaving and not doing that."

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Finding Peace [04:14]

J.Lo described a journey of self-discovery over the past year and a half, driven by the realization that she needed to give credit to her younger self.
She recognized a pattern of constantly thinking she could be better, achieve more, or wasn't good enough, instead of acknowledging her accomplishments.
This shift in perspective, appreciating herself and the child she once was, led to a feeling of peace and calm.

"I never gave her I don't give her credit. All I ever think about is I could be better at this. I could be better at that."

The Long Road to Motherhood [05:45]

Jennifer recalled the process of trying to get pregnant with her twins, Emmy and Max, for three years.
She expressed a strong desire to have children and felt she was losing her window, especially after being married to Mark Anthony for a couple of years without conceiving.
The eventual pregnancy with twins was described as "the best thing of my life."

"I was dying to have kids cuz I had them later and I thought I'm losing my window here and I was married to Mark at the time and we were together for a couple years and I wasn't getting pregnant and then all of a sudden on the on the third year we were together I got pregnant. With twins."

Re-evaluating Motherhood During the Pandemic [06:31]

After splitting with Mark Anthony, J.Lo went into overdrive as a single mom and main provider, feeling the weight of responsibility.
A conversation with her children during the COVID-19 pandemic made her realize she needed to slow down and be more present.
Her children expressed that she wasn't a "regular mom" because she wasn't around enough, prompting her to understand the importance of her presence beyond providing a comfortable life.

"They're like, 'You're not a regular mom, mom. You're not around enough. You're not, you know, you're not here every day. You don't drop us off and pick us up like the other.'"

The Impact of Children's Voices [08:02]

J.Lo has worked on balancing her life and has a closer relationship with her children now.
She noted that children's perspectives change as they grow, and once they can articulate their needs, it serves as a "wakeup call."
She emphasized that her children now know how much she loves them and that they are the main focus of her life.

"And we have the best relationship now because I just was like, 'Okay, you're going to know if you didn't know before how much I love you and that you were the main thing in my life and everything I do for you, you're going to know now.'"

Representing on the Super Bowl Stage [08:31]

J.Lo discussed headlining the Super Bowl with Shakira and her initial hesitation about sharing the stage.
She felt it was a dream to perform at that level, comparing it to her idols, but questioned if the request implied only one Latin artist could do it.
She felt Shakira also deserved her own moment, reflecting a sentiment of not wanting to take away from another artist's opportunity.

"And I think for me it was always such a dream to do it you know like my idols like Madonna like Diana Ross like Prince like you know what I mean like all of these people who died you like wait for your turn and when they said oh you're going to do it with with Shakira or Gloria I was like really"

Pride in the Super Bowl Performance and Message [09:14]

Looking back, J.Lo is extremely proud of the Super Bowl show and the performance with Shakira.
She believes they represented something important: two women, mothers, and Latinas who stood for hard work.
The performance included a statement about cages and children in cages, which she felt brought a beautiful light to important issues.

"To say in retrospect, it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect and it I was I'm so proud of that Super Bowl and I'm so proud to have shared that stage with Shakira because we did represent something in that moment that was important."