Raccoon Wars, Lindsay Clancy, NFL Scammers & Past Crimes - Matt McCusker

Raccoon Warfare [0:01:21]

• Chris Williamson details a demoralizing ongoing battle with raccoons in his backyard that have destroyed his furniture and garden.
• The pair jokes about the absurdity of losing a "war of wits" to an animal that survives exclusively on garbage.

• It feels very demoralizing, like losing a war of wits with an animal that survives exclusively on garbage.

The Urkel Cereal Fact [0:03:09]

• McCusker shares a bizarre childhood memory of a neighbor who kept pet raccoons and fed them Urkel-Os cereal.
• They discuss the oddity of the 1991 cereal tie-in and the strange reality of feeding raccoons banana-flavored breakfast food.

• I just remember seeing Urkel cereal next to a raccoon cage and being like, damn, my neighbor's raccoons eat Urkel cereal.

Trainspotting and Big Boy [0:06:55]

• They discuss the subculture of trainspotting, specifically referencing Francis Bourgeois and the "Big Boy" steam locomotive event in Pennsylvania.
• The hosts express disbelief that people, including children, passed out from heat exhaustion while waiting for the train to arrive.

• I was telling my friend, I was like, if I was there with my kid and they passed out awaiting a train, I would step over him and just walk away.

British Food Reviews [0:09:47]

• The conversation shifts to "Big John," a British man who reviews takeaway food, specifically pies and mash with eel liquor.
• Williamson and McCusker debate the merits of a traditional British breakfast, particularly the inclusion of beans.

• I will stand on business with the beans. Like hard. I'm sorry. First thing in the morning. Yeah. You're farting all day.

The Fart Alarm [0:11:08]

• The hosts share humorous anecdotes about waking partners up with flatulence, describing it as a mix of shame and pride.
• They discuss the biological link between smell and the amygdala, noting how a "fart alarm" can trigger a genuine threat response.

• Wake by smell is crazy. Wake by smell is pretty, it's pretty devastating.

Bull Riding and Bull Fighting [0:14:15]

• They discuss the Professional Bull Riders (PBR) circuit and the contrast between bull riding and the cruelty of traditional bullfighting.
• McCusker recounts tormenting a bull with crab apples as a child, reflecting on the unintended consequences of his actions.

• The reason that the capes, what's that called? The, uh, I don't know. The red rag to old thing. The reason that it's red isn't because bulls see red and get angry. It's to hide the blood.

Two-Step Dance Lessons [0:18:28]

• McCusker describes taking two-step dance lessons from an elderly woman who was notoriously blunt and physically aggressive with students.
• They discuss the social dynamics of the dance floor and the "upside down world" where the ratio of men to women makes men a commodity.

• There's a level of bigotry that you just, like when people get beyond a certain age, they just get a pass for it all.

Cults and State Lines [0:21:40]

• The conversation turns to cults like NXIVM and the legal significance of crossing state lines in sex trafficking cases.
• They explore the federal jurisdiction behind these laws and why they are treated as "upgrades" to existing criminal charges.

• Crossing state lines isn't inherently considered more evil than committing state, uh, sex trafficking within one state. The reason it's treated more seriously in U.S. law is largely about jurisdiction.

The Dajon Love Scam [0:24:25]

• They discuss the case of Dajon Love, a man who scammed over 26 women by faking an NFL career as a 49ers player.
• The hosts marvel at the audacity of the scam, including the perpetrator wearing a football helmet on the beach to maintain the ruse.

• 35 year old Dajon Love, who federal authorities say faked an entire NFL career as a 49ers wide receiver to scam others, has been arrested.

The Lindsey Clancy Case [0:27:07]

• The hosts discuss the high-profile case of Lindsey Clancy, debating the intersection of postpartum psychosis, culpability, and public scrutiny.
• They acknowledge the complexity of the tragedy while noting the intense public reaction and the "OJ Simpson for white women" comparison.

• It's OJ Simpson for white women. That's what it is.

The "Laying In" Tradition [0:32:05]

• Williamson explains the historical "laying in" period, where women were supported for a month after childbirth, contrasting it with modern expectations.
• They discuss the lack of support systems for new mothers and the pressure to return to work immediately.

• There was this time called laying in. You ever heard of this? So laying in was a month long period in the middle ages where a woman that had just given birth, all that she did was lie in the living room.

The Impact of Fatherhood [0:36:12]

• McCusker reflects on how having children shifted his focus from self-absorption to a "baked-in" sense of purpose.
• They discuss the small, nonsensical rewards of parenting, such as finding an alien doll dressed in a princess dress.

• Having a child is, um, uh, it's a surgical procedure where your own heart now lives outside of your own body.

Russian Literature and Beefs [0:42:35]

• The hosts discuss the stark, bleak nature of Russian literature, specifically Tolstoy and Dostoevsky.
• They muse on how conflicts played out before cell phones, when one had to visit a person's home to express grievances.

• I've fallen in love or imagined that I have. Went to a party and lost my head. Bought a horse, which I don't need at all.

The Curse of Expectations [0:47:15]

• They discuss how humans manufacture problems when life is going well to meet a subconscious need for conflict.
• Williamson shares a story about a couple's vacation ruined by minor inconveniences, highlighting the human inability to be satisfied.

• The human like curse is to, for everything to kind of be not quite as nice as he thought it was going to be.

Past Lives and Drug Dealing [0:51:20]

• McCusker recounts his past as a weed dealer, describing it as a decade of constant adrenaline and near-death experiences.
• He reflects on the relief of leaving that lifestyle and the transition to a more stable, albeit less "exciting," life.

• I was on time. I was punctual. I was quality control, very quality control forward. You know, I was, I was never trying to rip people off.

Finding Meaning [0:58:30]

• The hosts conclude by discussing the importance of introspection and the danger of chasing professional success without a deeper "why."
• They agree that while advice often feels like a cliché, the realization that it is actually true is a fundamental part of growing older.

• There should be a name for when you disregard cliches and then in future realize that the cliche was right.