Louis Tomlinson: "The Room Was Cold That Day". When The Police Knocked... I Just Knew

The video features a deep dive into the life and experiences of an artist, tracing his journey from a working-class upbringing to global fame. He discusses the profound impact of his mother's unwavering support, her role as both mother and father figure, and the unique bond they shared. The narrative also delves into the challenges of growing up in a large family in a small house, the early rejections and eventual success on talent shows, and the overwhelming nature of superstardom with a boy band.

The artist reflects on the loss of normalcy, the struggle with fame, and the alienation that can accompany success. He touches upon the profound grief experienced after the deaths of his mother and sister, the immense pressure of taking on familial responsibilities, and the difficulty of navigating such profound loss while in the public eye. His reflections highlight the importance of authenticity, family, and finding one's own definition of success beyond commercial metrics.

The conversation explores the artist's evolution, his desire for genuine connection, and his current pursuit of happiness and fulfillment. He discusses his latest musical endeavors, influenced by newfound personal peace and love, and his ongoing effort to define success on his own terms. The interview concludes with a look at his role as a father and his dedication to being present for his son, emphasizing the lessons learned from a life marked by extraordinary highs and devastating lows.

• The artist's early life was shaped by a working-class background, a large family in a small home, and his mother's strong influence and support, particularly after his father's absence.
• His path to music involved multiple rejections from talent shows before finding success, leading to the formation of a globally recognized boy band.
• Fame brought immense pressure, alienation, and a significant loss of normalcy, prompting reflections on personal worth and the value of family time.
• Profound grief followed the deaths of his mother and sister, impacting his outlook and responsibilities, yet shaping his resilience and purpose.
• He is now navigating a more mature phase of his career and life, focusing on authentic happiness, personal fulfillment, and redefining success on his own terms.

Related Video Summary

• Body of 14 Year Old Girl Found In Singer D4vd's Car - This Is EVERYTHING We Know So Far
• Meet the Spieker Scholars with Nicole Ta

From Working-Class Roots to Global Fame [00:24]

• Grew up in a working-class town with seven people in a three-bedroom house.
• His mother worked long hours and played both mother and father roles.
• He had to help get his sisters ready for school.
• Auditioned for a talent show three times, failing the first two attempts, which he described as "utterly crushing."
• His mother instilled confidence, encouraging him to try a third time.
• Co-wrote 15 platinum singles.
• Realized the value of family time was diminished by extensive time spent away from home.
• Was not confident enough to tell identical twins apart, indicating how little he was home.

Early Influences and Family Bonds [02:40]

• His earliest memories involve warm, emotional conversations with his mother.
• He finds it easy to be emotional and enjoys talking about his feelings.
• His mother instilled the ability to discuss emotions from a young age, which he finds vital for his mental well-being.
• His biological father was not involved in his life, having left soon after he was born.
• He has met his father only three times.
• His mother played multiple roles, including a "dad role," encouraging playful and silly activities.
• He considers his mother the "best woman I ever knew" and feels lucky to have her as a mentor.
• Grew up with many siblings, experiencing the challenge of being on his own later due to never having the opportunity when younger.
• Living in a crowded house was something he "loved" and felt it was one of the best things that happened to him.
• Being an older brother is a significant part of his identity and purpose, feeling a role to look after people.

Childhood Friends and Enduring Authenticity [05:30]

• Childhood friends, photographer/videographer, and his younger sister all commented that he "really haven't changed."
• His best friend noted his remarkable consistency, stating he's "still made out of the same stuff" and never thought he was "anything more than he was back then."
• He values his friends as "real guys" who haven't let ego take over or been embarrassed by his success.
• He consciously resisted feeling alienated by the massive shift in his environment and the people around him as his fame grew.
• He believes it's "vitally important" to have people around who will tell you if you're "being a dick."
• Being respected by people from his hometown means a lot to him.
• He would not drive through his hometown in an expensive car, showing respect for his roots.

Education and Early Artistic Pursuits [07:38]

• Attended Hayfield school for most of his time.
• Failed his A-levels.
• Went somewhere else for a year after failing his A-levels.
• Received a significant dressing-down from his mother after failing his A-levels, which made him realize he "need to do something with my life."
• Joined a drama group at 15 or 16 years old.
• At 17, he got the lead role in a production of "Greece."

The Path to The X Factor and Band Formation [08:30]

• Auditioned for "The X Factor" for the third time at 18 years old.
• First auditioned at 16, with three producer auditions before potentially seeing Simon.
• The first year, he didn't get through any auditions.
• The second year, he got through the first round.
• Described the first year's rejection as "utterly crushing" as he hadn't experienced "real rejection" before.
• The second audition was more challenging; he went with "the hottest girl at school," who was also a singer.
• She got through to the next round, a "gold ticket." He did not.
• He was ushered into a room of 200 people who all received a "yes," which was "really really challenging."
• This experience created "a bit more fire" and a desire to be in that group the next year.
• Believes the idea to form a band was conceived "much sooner" than contestants realized, likely by Simon, for at least the year prior.
• The band came third on "The X Factor."
• Signed to a record label at 19 years old.

Navigating the Immense Success of a Boy Band [13:37]

• It's only now, outside of the band, that he has a concept of what truly happened and the craziness of it.
• Nobody had context for the situation before it happened.
• During the first year, they assumed this was what "success looks like."
• A specific moment of realization came during a support gig with a Disney band, where their manager warned them to expect audiences to only know singles.
• When they walked out on stage, people were "massively locked in," and it was "really really loud," contrary to expectations.
• He felt smug telling their manager how wrong his prediction was.
• Later, reflecting, he realized that if an experienced manager could be wrong, then "maybe something is happening."

Mental Fortitude and Personal Autonomy [15:51]

• The immense external pressure of life in the band, especially at a young age when the male brain is still developing, is discussed.
• The routine of "stage, car, hotel, locked" was described by a former bandmate.
• He and a bandmate handled this differently; he had a good relationship with another bandmate because neither were "rule abiding" in a disruptive way, but rather had their own ideas.
• This sense of having his own ideas alleviated pressure, knowing he could "just go and do something."
• He believes other band members experienced fear and had worked harder to reach that point, coming from a different perspective.
• He is not a "dweller" but an "overthinker," using the phrase "ignorance is bliss" to describe that period.
• He pushed back against the label, requesting days off, demonstrating an unwillingness to be solely dictated to.
• This act of standing up to powerful figures as a young man was brave, driven by a "collective intention" for the good of all.
• He acknowledges making decisions independently now is not as easy.
• He was the oldest in the band and felt it was his role to do this, realizing he was the most "opinionated."
• He wanted to use his opinion for good, not just "chatting shit."
• He found the "boy band" genre unappealing initially due to its perceived "naffness" and "PR-pressed" image, with bands looking the same.
• He found it an "interesting project" to make One Direction "a little cooler."
• The pre-order of their first single, "What Makes You Beautiful," broke a record, and he found it fascinating that people invested before hearing the music.
• This indicated that people were invested in them as much as, if not more than, the music, allowing them to "rewrite the rule book."

The Transition Out of the Band [21:30]

• The loss of independence was gradual, not a sudden realization.
• The year before auditioning for "The X Factor" (up to age 18) was described as the "best year of my life" due to independence, social life, and constant activities.
• Leaving that behind was "quite gutting" and took time to adjust to.
• He felt grateful and excited during One Direction activities but missed home during reflection periods.
• He and a bandmate considered quitting multiple times due to feeling alienated and the challenges of fame.
• The "fame thing" is something he will "never be okay with," preferring to just do the music without the external pressures.
• Isolation felt like being a "little dot amongst the noise" in the midst of the real world and how people perceived him.
• The first significant pay packet was from a merchandise deal at 19, which excited him.
• He realized that people think success means everything is just successful, not understanding the complexities.
• He found it difficult to share his success with friends who were dealing with student loans, highlighting a "lack of understanding" and guilt.
• Awards, like Brit awards, still "annoy" him in his lounge as he doesn't want to be defined as "that guy that won those awards."
• He craves "real normality" and an "even playing field" in conversations.

Dealing with the Pressures of Fame and Substance Use [26:31]

• Alcohol played a role, and he admits to drinking "quite a bit" in the band.
• Post-show, his vice was smoking weed on the tour bus with a bandmate.
• This helped quieten the "noise" and "crazy experience" after performing.
• This routine was their "normality," similar to what friends did back home, and a way to "debrief from those moments away from the manicness."

Advice for His Younger Self and Unanswered Questions [28:24]

• Advises his younger self to be more confident, realizing many in their early careers are "faking it."
• He felt he was playing catch-up as he didn't plan to be a singer.
• Admits he is "not the best singer in the world" but is okay with it.
• Found personal worth within the band a significant struggle, feeling like a "deer in the headlights."
• He believes his defiance and decision-making have gotten him where he is, which should provide confidence.
• He didn't have context for what was happening and struggled with introspective, personal worth within the band.
• His first audition for "The X Factor" with "Hey There Delila" was "really really bad," and he still feels uncomfortable watching it.
• Performing in "Greece" for 250 people felt like a "mountain of people" compared to the 3,000 at the live TV audition.
• He felt like a "deer in the headlights" at the live audition, shaky and uncomfortable, wanting the "ground to swallow me up."
• He was a confident young lad and rarely stepped out of his comfort zone.
• He asked the bandmates if they had considered a band much earlier, suspecting it was Simon's idea.
• He did not ask Simon why he was put in the band but wishes he had.
• Simon made him feel "worthy in the band" by using his name, which had a powerful spell on a 19-year-old.
• He learned a lot from Simon and deeply respects him but thought the "pedestal" Simon placed him on had real-world meaning beyond a simple compliment.

The Aftermath of One Direction and Personal Loss [33:31]

• After the band split, he didn't have a pick of record labels but chose to stay with Simon's label out of loyalty.
• He considered this a deliberate choice to maintain a "happy family kind of vibe."
• His mother found it hard when he left home suddenly at 18, as she had no time to "grieve" his absence, unlike if he had gone to university.
• He described his relationship with his mother as being more like "best mates."
• He wasn't confident enough to name his identical twin sisters when speaking to them, showing how little he was home.
• He acknowledges that 85% of the situation was the band and 15% was his own doing, realizing too late the value of family time.
• He wasn't prepared for the end of One Direction, describing it as hitting him "like a ton of bricks."
• He was "straight grieving" for the band, a different but similar feeling to other grief experiences.
• The meeting about the band's future felt "cold," with an "emptiness" as they all collectively knew where it was going.
• He sought an indication of how long the "hiatus" would be but never received a clear answer, believing those involved weren't brave enough to give one.
• Simon was aware of the band's growing independence and likely realized he couldn't dictate decisions as he might have in the past.
• Life went from "absolutely crazy to less crazy" after the band.
• He is still unpacking those experiences and trying to understand them.
• A producer's question, "Where do we go from here?" was much deeper for him than for the producer.
• At 24, he realized "the only way is down" from his previous level of success, with no alternative reality of keeping up or superseding it.
• He no longer gets opportunities like billboards but doesn't lose sleep over it.
• He acknowledges having to work hard to compete, noting his solo career achieved a number one record, which he never expected.
• His "head above water" is different from others, given his experiences from 18 to 24.
• Singing a One Direction song like "Night Changes" to a sparse room after experiencing Wembley Stadium felt like "brutal poetry."

Grieving and Resilience [58:05]

• The timing of his mother's death, shortly after the band's end, was "unthinkable" due to the immense transition.
• He experienced about six months of "real resentment for the world" and feeling "hard done by."
• Minor inconveniences, like a faulty zipper, felt unjust during his grief.
• His mother called him with her leukemia diagnosis at a wedding reception after drinking, which was not ideal for the conversation.
• His initial reaction was denial, thinking it was "the good one to get," meaning high survival rate.
• He tried to inspire hope in his mother and shield her from his worry.
• He was stung by a sea urchin, causing his foot to swell significantly, during filming for "The X Factor" judges' houses.
• He felt he was doing a lower harmony and would be shocked if anyone could hear him.
• This experience was challenging, compounding his existing feelings and creating unanswered questions about his role and talent.
• He performed on "The X Factor" three days after his mother's death, a moment he described as the "most challenging time in my life."
• He performed the song "Just Hold On" for her, feeling it was taken out of his hands.
• This experience provided a "weird kind of confidence," knowing life likely won't get that dark again and putting things into perspective.
• He realized the true dependency on his mother and had to relearn confidence after losing her.
• He grieves individually, finding purpose in caring for his sisters, dad, and granddad after his mother's death.
• He was terrified of the effect his mother's passing would have on his young sisters.
• His role became the "strong one," helping his sisters see a "glass half full."
• Grief is individual and can remain even if not outwardly carried.
• He experiences anxiety, which he contrasts with excitement, noting that intimidating but good things can cause it.
• Before going on stage, he'd think about how to "run away," but it didn't stop him from performing.

Family Tragedy and Lessons Learned [11:15]

• His sister Felicity passed away at 18 years old, described as a "deeply tragic" event.
• He felt intensely unlucky as a family and angry at life, particularly on behalf of his sisters.
• He questioned "Why this and why now?" feeling it was incredibly unfair.
• Felicity's death was sudden and immediate, hitting him differently than his mother's.
• He felt guilty that his best friend was crying and felt powerless and like he had let his sister and mother down.
• He had promised his mother he would look after his sisters, especially Felicity, whom his mother described as "fragile."
• He felt he had failed at the time but knows now he didn't, though the feeling persists.
• He felt he had to put his sisters and grandparents in a "bubble" to protect them.
• Felicity was "uber intelligent," which brought its own social frustration, making her feel "on the outside looking in."
• Felicity looked the most like his mother visually.
• He realized he didn't realize the extent of his dependency on his mother until after he lost her.
• He finds it difficult to talk about these events extensively because he doesn't want them to define him or be a source of pity.
• Releasing a song about his mother's passing, "Two of Us," opened the floodgates for people to share their trauma, making him feel they could ask anything.
• A journalist asked him directly about grief-related topics, despite knowing they were off-limits, which he found "troubling" and lacking empathy.
• He finds it frustrating that his story can be easily spun by media.
• He doesn't carry himself in a way that suggests deep hurt, but the grief remains.

Redefining Success and Musical Evolution [45:21]

• He is still unpacking and trying to understand his experiences.
• At 24, he realized his trajectory was "down" from his peak success and there was no alternative reality to keep up or supersede it.
• He no longer gets large-scale opportunities like album billboards but doesn't lose sleep over it.
• He acknowledges having to work hard to compete at his level, citing a number one record in his solo career.
• His solo career requires him to work harder to "keep my head above water," a reality he recognizes is different from others due to his past experiences.
• He acknowledges that comparing his One Direction career to his solo career is unavoidable, though they cannot be directly compared.
• Singing One Direction songs in concert feels like "brutal poetry" when performing to smaller crowds.
• He tries to use a different "yardstick of measurement" for success, focusing on fulfillment rather than just numbers.
• He wrote about his interpretation of success, realizing it didn't have to be a "numbers game."
• He feels good about his latest record, acknowledging he's been "swimming against the tide" at times.
• He is now in a comfortable place to be positive, happy, and confident, aiming for his music to make people "feel good," unlike his earlier, more painful work.
• His new music has a "deeper palette" with more "color," reflecting a new sense of life, happiness, and purpose.
• He struggles to write fictionally and needs experiences to be literal and real.
• His current happiness and feeling of being "deeply deeply romantic" influence his music.
• Success for him now is about "successfully computing what the new idea of success is" and implicitly meaning it, not just saying it.
• The music industry's competitiveness and numbers game make this difficult, but he is working towards this.
• He hasn't fully achieved this new version of success but is on the way.
• He feels he is on the "home straight" in his journey of happiness and feels "worthy" of the success he has earned.
• This album is "the album that I was always deserve to make," embracing his identity as an artist.
• The picture of his life, once blurry, is becoming sharper.
• His fans are incredibly loyal and patient, making possible the larger venues for his next tour.
• He views his relationship with his fans as a "codependency," where they do much for him, and he hopefully does stuff for them.
• He feels the energy on stage is a result of what they have accomplished "together."

Entrepreneurship and Personal Growth [52:45]

• He is a prolific entrepreneur, founding the "Away from Home Festival" and a clothing brand, "28."
• The clothing brand has had four sold-out drops worldwide.
• He is excited about his new album and its context within his current life stage.
• He is "very smitten" and "whipped" by his current girlfriend, having gone "Instagram official."
• He is learning on the job regarding public relationships.
• His personal life, happiness, and fulfillment influence his music.
• He feels he has a new sense of life, happiness, purpose, and fulfillment.
• He is becoming more "hippie" and embracing broader ideas as he gets older.
• The new album has a "deeper palette" with more color, reflecting a positive and authentic expression.
• He struggles to write fictionally, needing his experiences to be literal and real.
• His current love significantly influences his music.
• He defines success as implicitly meaning a new version of it, not just stating it, which he hasn't fully achieved yet due to the industry's competitive nature.
• He acknowledges that despite wanting a different version of success, the UK album chart position still matters to him.
• He feels he is on the "home straight" in his journey of happiness and worthy of his earned success.
• He is embracing his identity as an artist, songwriter, and touring artist.
• His fans' loyalty and patience have enabled larger venues and a deeper connection.
• He views his fan relationship as a "codependency" and the stage energy as a shared accomplishment.
• He founded the "Away from Home Festival" and the clothing brand "28," which has had successful drops.
• His fans call themselves "The Louis."

The Impact of Loss and Resilience [58:13]

• He had a "true dependency" on his mother that he didn't realize until after he lost her.
• He had to relearn confidence after her death.
• He describes grief as individual; his became a source of purpose in caring for his family.
• He was terrified of the effect his mother's death would have on his young sisters.
• His role became the "strong one," helping his sisters see a brighter future.
• He felt he had failed his mother's wish to look after his sisters, especially Felicity.
• The loss of Felicity was a sudden and immediate tragedy, feeling "incredibly unfair."
• He felt angry at life on behalf of his family, questioning "Why this and why now?"
• He realized that helping someone struggling requires more than just presence; they often act in private.
• He felt guilty that his best friend was crying, reflecting the burden of grief.
• He felt powerless and like he had let his sister and mother down.
• He had promised his mother he would look after his sisters, particularly Felicity, whom his mother described as "fragile."
• The death of Felicity undermined his hope and ideas for life without his mother.
• He acknowledged that his mother's death would have been horrible for her to witness.
• He learned from Liam Payne about the feeling of helplessness when someone is struggling.
• He knew Felicity was struggling, likely due to grief from their mother's passing and general life challenges.
• Felicity was "uber intelligent," which brought her social frustration and a feeling of being on the outside.
• Felicity looked the most like his mother, a fact he finds "crazy."
• He doesn't want his past tragedies to define him and finds media narratives frustrating.
• Releasing a song about his mother's passing led to people sharing their trauma with him.
• He found a journalist's questions about his grief after writing a song about it to be lacking empathy.
• He doesn't carry himself in a way that outwardly suggests deep hurt, but the grief remains.
• He experienced a period of resentment for about six months after his mother's death, feeling like he "could only lose."
• Minor inconveniences amplified his feelings of being hard done by.
• He performed on "The X Factor" three days after his mother's death, a deeply challenging experience for her.
• The song "Just Hold On" was empowering, and he believes life won't get as dark as those three minutes.
• He had to relearn confidence after his mother's death, as she used to inspire it in him.
• He found a purpose in looking after his sisters, dad, and granddad, giving him a reason to get out of bed.
• He was terrified of the effect his mother's death would have on his young sisters.
• He feels he has failed his mother's wish to look after his sisters, especially Felicity.
• The death of Felicity was a sudden and immediate tragedy, a deeper blow due to the prior loss.
• He felt intensely unlucky as a family and angry at life, particularly on behalf of his sisters.
• He questioned "Why this and why now?" finding it incredibly unfair.
• He found performing "Just Hold On" on "The X Factor" to be the "most challenging time in my life," done for his mother.
• He sees the experience as having given him a "weird kind of confidence," knowing life likely won't get that dark again.
• He realized the "true dependency" he had on his mother after losing her.

Brotherhood and Misunderstanding [52:06]

• He worries about Liam Payne, knowing he was "a little misunderstood."
• The best solo artists, he believes, are those who "know themselves," a challenge post-band.
• He could have honest conversations with Liam about missing the band, unlike with other bandmates who might worry about his solo career.
• He felt he played a role in looking after Liam, finding him brave and inspiring.
• Liam was "wildly misunderstood," often maliciously, making it hard to see him described negatively online.
• Liam wanted to be liked and missed out on social life due to working from age 14.
• Liam's journey was different, working hard from 14 to get to where he was in One Direction, unlike his own more "happy-go-lucky" path.
• Liam was the "sensible one," a role he believes might not have done him mental favors.
• Liam was the "safest pair of hands" in the band, vocally and professionally.
• Liam's focus created space for others to be less attentive.
• Liam was a "pure" person, with "puppy dog energy," always wanting to be liked.
• He found out about Liam Payne's death through Niall, while driving his son to school.
• He felt his own efforts weren't enough to help Liam, recognizing his struggles were deeper than he could address.
• He believes Liam would have been shocked to see how positively he is perceived by those who knew him.
• Liam's emphasis on credibility and the importance of business were key aspects of his character.
• He believes the internet is a "horrible place at times" regarding how people are perceived.
• Liam posted a beautiful tribute to him after his documentary premiere, which he later deleted due to fan criticism.
• Liam's actions demonstrated him "really putting himself second."
• He acknowledges that Liam could be misunderstood because he operated without a filter, saying what he felt.
• He suggests that judging others should be followed by deeper thought, understanding their craving for past experiences or personal struggles.

Fatherhood and Artistic Expression [40:04]

• He was 24 when he had his son Freddy, feeling confident and excited about being a dad.
• Freddy is described as a "sweetest kid," "so kind," making him deeply proud.
• He feels like a "young dad" at 33, which is good for his ego.
• He has to decline photo requests when with Freddy to maximize their time together, which he worried might make Freddy think he's a "dick."
• He tries to teach Freddy kindness, respect, and seeing the good in people.
• He declined to do karaoke at Freddy's school in front of his friends, which was tough for him and potentially for Freddy.
• Freddy has attended a couple of gigs, adding context to his father's career.
• He set himself a challenge of posting daily on social media at 24 to grow his following and learn faster.
• This led to building a following of millions, which he used to launch his business.
• He uses Adobe Express for his social media posts, finding it accessible as he's not a graphic design expert.
• He is excited to talk about his new album, influenced by his current happiness and love.
• He aims for his new music to make people "feel good" and be true to him, unlike some earlier work that was honest but painful.
• He has a "new sense of life, happiness and purpose and fulfillment."
• His previous music had a "small palette of paint" with darker colors, while his new record has a "deeper" and more colorful palette.
• He is a "deeply romantic person," and creativity and romance are tied for him.
• He struggles to write fictionally, needing experiences to be literal and real.
• His current happiness and feeling of being "deeply in love" influence the album's feel.
• Success for him is about implicitly meaning a new version of it, a journey he hasn't fully completed.
• He acknowledges that despite wanting a different version of success, the chart positions still matter.
• He feels he is on the "home straight" in his journey of happiness and worthy of his earned success.
• He is embracing his identity as an artist, songwriter, and touring artist.
• His fans' loyalty and patience have enabled larger venues and a deeper connection.
• He views his fan relationship as a "codependency" and the stage energy as a shared accomplishment.
• He founded the "Away from Home Festival" and the clothing brand "28," which has had successful drops.
• His fans call themselves "The Louis."
• The closing question he received was: "If you are truly prioritizing the most important things in your life, eg family, and we only have limited time and effort to give. If you are a high achiever and performer, have you prioritized the most important thing?"
• He answered "No" to this question, acknowledging he could have prioritized family more as a young lad, but realized at his age, the "ball hasn't really dropped yet" for many young people.
• He feels he is prioritizing more than most people now, especially regarding family time with his son and sisters.