Jo Koy OPENS UP About Mental Health & Turning His Pain Into Purpose

Early Inspiration and Flyer Distribution [00:00]

• Joe Coy was inspired by an article about Aerosmith making their own flyers to start making and distributing his own.
• He continues this practice today, even for sold-out shows, believing it's important to reach everyone.

  "I asked my guy, I already need 10,000 flyers for Netflix because I'm about to pass these out."

The Power of Energy Transfer [01:10]

• Coy believes he has a unique ability to transfer energy to audiences, whether in person or on screen.
• He notes this skill is rare, even among comedians, and difficult to master consistently.

  "Whether it be in person, one to one, one to many in front of thousands of people, or hundreds of thousands of people in person, or to millions of people on a screen, you transfer energy."

Childhood Realization of Humor [02:15]

• At five or six years old, Coy already knew he was funny, with his parents and their friends often laughing at his jokes.
• He recognized this as a skill that would help him make friends when his military family moved frequently.

  "Because my mom would always be like, oh, Joe is so funny. And my dad always laughed at everything, you know?"

Moving to America and Embracing Humor [03:50]

• Despite moving from the Philippines to Tacoma, Washington, at age eight, Coy was excited to be the "funny one" in his new school.
• He believed his ability to be funny would translate across cultures.

  "Yeah. You just believed it at eight years old or something?"

Class Clown to Aspiring Comic [05:00]

• Coy was consistently the class clown throughout junior high.
• By sixth grade, he was already listening to Richard Pryor and watching Eddie Murphy, knowing he wanted to be a stand-up comic.

  "Like I was watching Eddie, you know, do Delirious. Like already, I already knew I wanted to be a standup comic at that age."

The Grind of Stand-Up and Resilience [06:00]

• Coy acknowledges that there are times when a comedian isn't funny, but emphasizes the importance of learning and pushing through.
• He describes an "addiction" to stand-up that drives him to perform even in small, unglamorous settings like open mics after arena shows.

  "There's just, there's this addiction that we have. I don't know what it is. Us comics love it, but I really love it."

Learning from Failure [07:40]

• Coy believes that failure is what makes comedians strong and that true failure occurs when one doesn't try at all.
• He differentiates between failing after accepting a challenge and not attempting something due to fear.

  "But like, it's, it's when you don't try is truly when you fail."

Navigating Social Media and Public Perception [09:00]

• Coy addresses the impact of social media on how comedians handle bombing, noting that some people care deeply about public perception.
• He contrasts this with the validation of a sold-out stadium, suggesting that external criticism matters less when faced with massive success.

  "Do you really care about what they say? Or do you look at a, a sold out SoFi stadium and go, well, I guess it doesn't really matter what you said?"

Early Career Setbacks and False Starts [10:30]

• Starting in 1989, Coy experienced periods where he thought he had "made it," like getting a week-long gig at Catch Rising Star in Vegas.
• However, these opportunities often proved temporary, leading to a prolonged period of grinding in local clubs.

  "But that, that moment I thought, oh my God, I'm about to be a comic. I'm about to be a famous comic. I thought it was over with at that point."

The Bumpy Road of Comedy [12:00]

• Coy describes the comedy journey as a "long bumpy ass road with a bunch of roadblocks and a lot of gravel roads."
• He highlights the sacrifices made, such as missing family events for gigs, but views these as necessary steps toward winning.

  "It's a lot of like, uh, U-turns and start over flat tires, all that. Like that's comedy, especially when you're a road dog."

Breakthroughs and Unmet Expectations [13:15]

• Despite winning Showtime at the Apollo and getting on the Def Jam comedy circuit and BET's Comic View, Coy felt these didn't immediately lead to the expected explosion in his career.
• He emphasizes that he never said "no" to an opportunity, which was key to getting these chances.

  "I thought things were going to happen for me, but it didn't, but they did, which is crazy."

The BET Comic View Audition Story [14:30]

• Coy recounts his persistence in getting a spot on BET's Comic View, including showing up unannounced and asking to warm up the crowd.
• He ended up performing when the booked comics were late, capturing the moment on a camera provided by the show's producer.

  "And she literally asked me, she goes, can you go up? Shut up. I swear. And she goes, can you go up for, for like five minutes or until they get here?"

The Black College Circuit and Def Comedy Jam [18:30]

• After BET's Comic View, Coy got onto the black college circuit, opening for established comedians like Sommore and Michael Blackson.
• He was introduced to Bob Sumner, who ran Def Comedy Jam, and was given a unique opportunity to perform before the main show by crawling through a curtain.

  "He's like, we're going to put you out before the show starts. We're not going to open the curtains. We're just going to kind of open it up and just go through it."

Winning Showtime at the Apollo [23:00]

• Following his performance at Def Comedy Jam, Rudy Rush encouraged Coy to do Showtime at the Apollo.
• Coy used the same set that had worked for him before and won the competition.

  "He goes, you ever do the Apollo? I swear to God, bro. This is exactly how I went down. He goes, you ever do, you ever watch the Apollo? I go, yeah."

The Courage to Keep Going [25:30]

• Coy attributes his courage and confidence to an innate desire and passion to perform, regardless of the circumstances.
• He views saying "no" to an opportunity as stepping back, while saying "yes" is always moving forward.

  "It's my desire. It's my passion. I know that there's, there's something that I'm trying to reach. And the only way I can reach is if I keep climbing."

Overcoming Insecurities with Stand-Up [28:30]

• Coy discusses his deep insecurities about his appearance, including his teeth and hair loss.
• He found that stand-up comedy was his "superpower" and the only thing that gave him confidence.

  "And I think the only thing that gave me confidence was standup. I knew I'd kill you on stage, you know?"

Traumatic Childhood and Early Programming [30:00]

• Coy describes a traumatic childhood marked by his parents' divorce, his brother's mental disability, and a generally negative environment.
• He felt programmed by media portrayals of his own race, leading him to initially use self-deprecating and culturally insensitive jokes.

  "Like, you watch cartoons with your friends and every time they made fun of an Asian guy with the cartoon, you know, the slant eyes and the water buckets on their shoulder..."

The "White Room" and Indirect Racism [33:30]

• Coy explains the concept of the "white room" or "white night" in comedy clubs, referring to the coveted weekend slots usually reserved for white comedians.
• He recounts instances of indirect racism, where opportunities were scarce and often relegated to "Tuesday nights" or "Fat Tuesdays."

  "And, and, but for the most part, it's, it's buried within four or five. And it's like, then you get us, the guys that are trying to talk about my mom and try and also sell you my point of view."

The Power of Showing Up [37:00]

• Coy emphasizes the importance of "enrolling your way" into opportunities, even under difficult conditions, like driving hours for a small payday or taking the Greyhound bus.
• He highlights his commitment to always being available and ready, regardless of the obstacles.

  "You were doing whatever it took, whatever it took. Yeah."

The "DVD" of Life and Bonus Features [43:00]

• Coy uses the analogy of a "DVD" for his past accomplishments and "bonus features" for his current work, signifying that he's living out his dreams.
• He recounts seeing Eddie Murphy at the Seattle Coliseum as a teen and later selling out the same arena with his son, a full-circle moment.

  "Everything that you've done up until this point is the DVD. Like it's the DVD. You made that DVD, whatever it is that you wanted was a DVD."

Self-Funding the Netflix Special [47:00]

• When Netflix initially passed on his special, Coy decided to film it himself, investing in his own vision.
• He then presented the completed special to Netflix, who subsequently bought it, leading to his breakthrough.

  "They turned me down. So they said no to me. And you know, we were like, Hey, we'd love to, you know, do this hour for you. And they were like, no."

The "Bonus Features" of Life [50:00]

• Coy sees his current success and opportunities as "bonus features" on the DVD of his life, a dream he had as a child.
• He cherishes moments like bringing his son on stage at sold-out shows, fulfilling a lifelong ambition.

  "So now it's like, now I'm on the bonus features of the DVD. This is all a bonus. This is all, this is a bonus."

The Three Truths [54:00]

• Coy's first truth is "Don't say what if, just do it," encouraging people to take action and pursue their dreams.
• His second truth is to embrace the childlike belief that "we can really fly," emphasizing the power of self-belief.
• His third truth is that "doing what you love for absolutely nothing" is the true definition of greatness.

  "Don't ever say what if, just do it. You know what I mean? Be that kid, man. Like be the kid that you are, that kid that, that thought they, they could fly when they jumped off the roof."

Lessons from Stepdad and Mom [51:30]

• Coy's stepdad, a decorated military man, taught him discipline, most notably the lesson to "fix your bed," symbolizing a tidy mind.
• His mother's hustle, exemplified by selling lumpia and organizing events, indirectly taught him the value of hard work and creating opportunities.

  "Fix your bed, fix your bed. A dirty, a dirty bed is a messy head."

The Martin Lawrence Project [57:00]

• Coy and Martin Lawrence produced a special showcasing overlooked headliners, handpicking 24 "beasts" of comedy.
• They meticulously reviewed submissions, aiming to give a platform to deserving comedians.

  "And, and any comic that's like, well, I submit you passed on us. Well, then watch why. Watch why."