Psych Med Withdrawal Expert Laura Delano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #678

Childhood and Early Diagnosis [00:00:00]

• Laura Delano grew up in an affluent, seemingly perfect environment in Connecticut.
• At 13, she experienced a profound out-of-body experience, leading to feelings of having no real self.
• This existential crisis manifested as self-harm, acting out, and fantasies of death.

• "I was looking in the mirror one night, brushing my teeth. And I just started looking deeper and deeper into my eyes. And then I just slowly, everything around me started to go black."

The Bipolar Diagnosis [00:03:30]

• At 14, after a one-hour evaluation, a psychiatrist diagnosed Delano with bipolar disorder.
• She was prescribed Depakote and Prozac, despite the diagnosis being based on subjective observation and lacking scientific validation.
• Delano notes that diagnoses from the DSM are not scientific texts but rather based on the opinions of psychiatrists.

• "The DSM, what is it? The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's copyrighted by the American Psychiatric Association. There's a lot of industry influence behind it."

Adolescence and College Struggles [00:07:00]

• Delano initially rejected the bipolar diagnosis, sensing it didn't align with her experience.
• Despite trying to escape the diagnosis, by 18, she was still trapped in a "performance game" and entered Harvard.
• Her freshman year of college was marked by severe distress, substance abuse (cocaine, ecstasy), lack of sleep, and suicidal ideation.

• "I was just so desperate for relief, because I was, like, doing tons of coke and ecstasy, and I wasn't sleeping, and I was, like, so spun out freshman fall of college."

The Debutante Ball and Existential Crisis [00:11:00]

• At 18, Delano's experience as a debutante in New York City intensified her feelings of absurdity and disconnection.
• She describes having expansive thoughts, deconstructing reality, and feeling swept up in postmodern ideas.
• This period of desperation led her to seek psychiatric help again, feeling immense relief at being given a diagnosis and a "solution."

• "And, you know, the whole thing is so absurd. Like, the tradition of it is, like."

Embracing the Patient Role [00:14:00]

• Delano became a "good patient," diligently engaging in therapy and tracking symptoms.
• Her life purpose shifted to "treatment," filling a void of meaning with the role of a patient.
• She was prescribed multiple medications, which she initially saw as a sign of increased care.

• "And so I, you know, was put back on meds and then, you know, quickly two became three and, you know, I would be going in every week, sometimes twice a week to do therapy."

The Prescription Cascade [00:17:00]

• Over time, Delano's medication regimen grew, leading to a "prescription cascade."
• She felt increasingly special and understood due to her complex diagnosis and medication list, akin to an "identity."
• Despite diligent treatment, her life continued to deteriorate, marked by increasing dysfunction.

• "And, and what was really this, you know, it was insidious about that too. And, and now if you look at our culture of like how girls and young women, you know, in this kind of like therapeutic sized culture that we're in."

Escalating Dysfunction and Hospitalization [00:20:00]

• By her mid-twenties, Delano had gained significant weight, experienced physical ailments, and lost friendships.
• She attributes weight gain partly to antipsychotics and a disconnection from her body's signals.
• Multiple hospitalizations occurred, driven by suicidal ideation and a desperate desire to escape herself.

• "And, and what was really this, you know, it was insidious about that too. And, and now if you look at our culture of like how girls and young women, you know, in this kind of like therapeutic sized culture that we're in."

"Treatment-Resistant" Bipolar Disorder [00:25:00]

• At 25, her psychiatrist informed her that her bipolar disorder had progressed to "treatment-resistant," a devastating diagnosis.
• This message felt hopeless, as treatment had been her life's focus for years.
• The diagnosis implied a lifelong, incurable brain disease with no effective solutions.

• "And my psychiatrist says like, you know, unfortunately, Laura, your bipolar disorder has progressed and you now have treatment resistant bipolar disorder."

Overdose and Near-Death Experience [00:27:00]

• Following the "treatment-resistant" diagnosis, Delano attempted suicide by taking a month's supply of medication with wine.
• She flatlined and was put on life support, with her parents advised to sign a do-not-resuscitate order.
• Delano views this suicide attempt as a logical choice given the narrative she had been told about her incurable illness.

• "And, and when I, you know, I like, you know, flatline a medevac and my."

The Psych Ward Experience [00:30:00]

• Delano recounts her experiences in psychiatric wards, even in "fancy private hospitals."
• She describes the sterile environment, constant monitoring, unappetizing food, and superficial group therapy sessions.
• Instances of patients being physically restrained and forcibly medicated are shared, highlighting the lack of depth and care.

• "You're literally all, you know, any possession you have that could be, you know, that they perceive as a potential weapon is gone."

Questioning the Narrative: "Anatomy of an Epidemic" [00:38:00]

• Two years after her overdose, at age 27, Delano encountered "Anatomy of an Epidemic" by Robert Whitaker.
• The book's premise—that long-term psychiatric medication use might be making patients sicker—shattered her understanding.
• This realization provided the confidence to question her diagnosis and the necessity of her medications.

• "And I was like, whoa, I've been on that. I've been on that. I'm on that now. And I was like, what's this book?"

The Decision to Taper [00:41:00]

• Delano confronted her doctor about coming off her five medications, facing initial resistance.
• She began tapering in 2010, unaware of the complexities of physical dependence and withdrawal.
• Her doctor, lacking knowledge about safe tapering, was unsupportive but allowed her to proceed.

• "And this gets us to, you know, the topic that I'm, like, so excited to connect with you more about here is when I made the decision to come off my meds, I had no idea how hard it would be to get off them."

The Agony of Withdrawal [00:44:00]

• Coming off five medications in six months was a "cold turkey" experience that "blew up" her life for years.
• She experienced severe cognitive issues, emotional upheaval, digestive problems, and physical symptoms.
• Sensory overload, like bright lights and grocery store sounds, triggered panic attacks, making everyday life excruciating.

• "I couldn't talk. I'd, I'd, I'd, you know, we'd be sitting down wanting to have a conversation and I'd have an idea in my head that I'd want to speak out to you, but the words wouldn't come out."

Misinterpreting Withdrawal as Relapse [00:48:00]

• Delano explains that most people experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms believe they are relapsing and need to go back on medication.
• Doctors and loved ones often reinforce this belief, leading individuals to stay on medication indefinitely.
• She emphasizes that the "relief" felt upon returning to medication is often just the cessation of withdrawal symptoms, not a sign of illness improvement.

• "And, and, and everyone's telling them that too. The doctor's telling them that their loved ones are telling them that like, you feel horrible off your med. This means you need it, go back on it."

Loss of Sexuality and Emotional Numbness [00:52:00]

• Delano experienced a complete loss of sexual function and intimacy on psychiatric drugs, only regaining it after tapering.
• She argues that sexuality is tied to vibrancy, creativity, and the appreciation of beauty, all of which can be suppressed by medication.
• The clip of Lauren Friedman highlights the devastating condition of PSSD (Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction), where sexual and emotional side effects persist long after stopping medication.

• "I had my first orgasm at the age of 27. I had zero sexual function on psych drugs and I didn't even realize what I was missing because I'd been put on them so young."

The Inner Compass Initiative and Policy Change [01:05:00]

• Delano co-founded the Inner Compass Initiative to provide comprehensive information and resources for informed choices about mental health treatment and withdrawal.
• She discusses the HHS's new action plan, spearheaded by Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., to address psychiatric over-prescribing and promote de-prescribing.
• The initiative aims to develop guidelines, train clinicians, and enable insurance coverage for de-prescribing, shifting the standard of care towards transparency and holistic approaches.

• "We will support patient autonomy, require informed consent, and shared decision-making, and shift the standard of care toward prevention, transparency, and a more holistic approach to mental health."

Reclaiming Power and Finding Meaning [01:15:00]

• Delano no longer has a medical regimen and prioritizes a lifestyle aligned with hunter-gatherer principles.
• She views emotional pain not as a problem to be fixed but as a signal to listen to, finding freedom in her ability to sit with discomfort.
• Her work and writing are driven by a purpose found in sharing her experiences and helping others.

• "Freedom is, is in, this is where freedom is. It's not in getting off the meds. It's in how am I with this pain?"

The Crisis of Medicalization and Misunderstanding [01:20:00]

• Delano outlines three critical misunderstandings: medicalizing non-medical problems, mistaking adverse drug effects for illness progression, and confusing withdrawal with relapse.
• She argues that many "mental illnesses" are actually natural responses to difficult life circumstances or societal issues.
• The current mental health system, driven by industry profit, fails to provide adequate information and support for informed choices.

• "We're medicalizing problems that aren't medical. Like that heartbreak you felt like I'm going to get teary eyed. The heartbreak you felt is like a young 20 something guy."

Advice for Parents and Tapering Strategies [01:28:00]

• Delano advises parents to trust their instincts about their children and not let "experts" override their knowledge.
• She encourages parents to be curious about the reasons behind their child's struggles rather than assuming a "broken brain."
• For those considering tapering, she stresses the importance of getting informed, choosing a low-stress time, communicating with doctors, and building a strong support system.

• "As a parent, no one knows your child better than you. Your parental instincts cannot and should not be violated."

The Power of Community and Anecdotal Evidence [01:35:00]

• Delano highlights the value of the "layperson withdrawal community" (patients and ex-patients) in developing safe tapering strategies.
• She criticizes the medical industry's dismissal of anecdotal evidence, emphasizing that personal experience is crucial for understanding one's own body.
• Mutual aid and online communities provide vital support, hope, and validation for individuals navigating withdrawal.

• "We are, it's all out there for free on the internet. And until now the medical industry hasn't considered it legitimate because it's not research."

The Future of Mental Health Care [01:45:00]

• Delano expresses hope for substantive change due to the cultural awakening and government initiatives like those from HHS.
• She clarifies that the goal is not to ban medications but to ensure informed consent, transparency, and accessible off-ramps for those who choose to taper.
• The ultimate aim is to shift the focus from solely pharmaceutical solutions to a more holistic and patient-centered approach to mental well-being.

• "We will treat them as one option to be used when appropriate, but with full transparency and with a clear path off when they're no longer needed."

Finding Freedom Beyond Medication [01:55:00]

• Delano defines freedom not as the absence of medication but as the ability to be with emotional pain and discomfort.
• She describes a moment of realization where she understood that her true power lay in her capacity to tolerate and process difficult emotions.
• This shift in perspective, cultivated through practices like meditation, allowed her to reclaim her inner compass and live a more authentic life.

• "And I said, freedom is, is in, this is where freedom is. It's not in getting off the meds. It's in how am I with this pain?"