from seeking to silence - no mind awakening session w/ Sudhakar

Childhood Encounters with Spirituality [00:17]

• The spiritual seeking story began at age 10-12 in India (1996-1997) by finding an ancient book promising results from reading shlokas 11 times.
• Initially seeking good grades, the individual started reading these shlokas.
• Later, found a handbook by Osho titled "Ishwar Mar Gaya Hai" (God is dead), which introduced the idea that the God people pray to and ask favors from is dead, according to some philosophers.
• Osho differentiated this God from "godliness," consciousness, or awareness, suggesting a prayer exists within oneself and that meditation is the way to find it.

"The God that we pray to the God that we ask things for and the God that we ask favors is dead according to some Russian philosopher."

Osho's Influence and Early Exploration [02:33]

• Moved to a new city and saw a poster of Osho, but due to his controversial reputation, lacked the courage to visit the ashram.
• Discovered Osho Dhara magazine, which captivated with its beautiful pictures and content, leading to monthly purchases and reading in Hindi.
• In grade 11, after an astrologer suggested reading Hanuman Chalisa for good grades and liberation (seven times), the individual began this practice alongside temple visits.
• Over the years, graduated to buying Osho's discourse books and listening to his CDs, and began practicing Osho's teachings, experiencing a profound inner sensation.

"And then Osho said, but the God There is another thing There is godliness, there is consciousness, there is awareness."

Journey Through Eastern and Western Masters [05:46]

• Moved to Canada in 2009 for higher studies, continuing the spiritual search through YouTube and Google.
• Explored teachers mentioned by Osho, including Ramana Maharishi and his "Who am I?" inquiry, finding his aura serene.
• Progressed to Papaji, then Mooji, Gangaji, Ramesh Balsekar, and other masters and students, trying to grasp their teachings.
• Also explored Krishnamurti, resonating with his seriousness and concepts like "no thinker, there is only thought" and "choiceless awareness."

"He said, ask who am I? I started asking who am I."

Abandonment of Career for Spiritual Pursuit [07:39]

• Graduated with a project management degree and secured a job as a project coordinator in 2012, but felt it was an obstacle to spiritual progress.
• Despite a good job with societal rewards, the individual left it to focus on the spiritual search, prioritizing survival and understanding the deeper truths.
• During this time, continued listening to Papaji's teachings on "Who am I?" and the absence of "I."

"The thing I was doing is is still undone. Something left behind and my whole time, my whole energy is going in job."

The Letter to Papaji and a New Guru [09:22]

• Feeling frustrated and jobless, wrote a heartfelt letter to Papaji expressing a desire for connection and answers.
• Subsequently, a video of a guru appeared on YouTube, who blessed people and encouraged chanting a divine name.
• This guru's presence and practice resonated, fulfilling a perceived need for a physical guru, especially since previous masters had passed away.
• On March 9, 2013, the individual visited this guru, experiencing a strong energy field and emotional release. The guru bestowed a "Nam" (divine name) to be chanted, promising responsibility for the disciple's spiritual journey.

"And then I wrote a letter to Papaji that night. It said, Papaji you said you are here, you are everywhere, you are all the time."

Devotion, Dissolution, and "Hukum" [13:58]

• Engaged in daily chanting, evening sessions, and weekend satsangs, driving 500 km for gatherings.
• Broke up with a long-term girlfriend, viewing the relationship as an obstacle to spiritual progress.
• In 2017, upon returning to India, the individual discarded Osho books, feeling they had ruined their innocence and that "all knowledge is the problem."
• The guru dissolved the sangat (spiritual community), stating he was not "complete" and directing followers to another guru in India.
• The individual felt isolated by this practice and the dissolution of the sangat, leading to a period of marinating in Guru Nanak Dev Ji's concept of "Hukum" (divine order) and natural processes.

"But when I went home I thought I should give it to someone. Then I thought, 'Do these books really help me or they already ruined my innocence that I already had?'"

Encountering Direct Experiencing [18:38]

• In April, a friend shared a video of a one-on-one session with Franco, which resonated deeply, leading to a booking of a session.
• The individual felt Franco was realized or enlightened, sensing a special energy and a shared understanding, which prompted the booking.
• The sessions are described as being about "direct experiencing," moving beyond beliefs and concepts to look at what is present in the moment.
• Questions were posed to encourage experiential answers rather than just verbal ones, focusing on "what's here right now without any effort."

"First I opened it, I thought it's just a regular podcast like everybody just talking more quantum physics and God and spirituality and everything and just 1 hour. But when I opened it, there was something something resonated, something different."

The Nature of Self and Reality [20:48]

• The core of the sessions involved exploring what remains when labels, language, the seeker, and even the concept of awareness are removed.
• The recurring answer to "What are you without language?" and "What are you without the seeker?" was "I don't know" and "Nothing," respectively.
• The exploration touched upon the idea that everything is a "natural process" and that there are no boundaries between the self and existence.
• The distinction between trying to look and the natural process of "just looking" was highlighted, suggesting an effortless presence beyond effortful seeking.

"And what are you without the seeker? Nothing. I mean I don't know."

Unfolding and Illusion [39:32]

• The process is described as a "sobriety from the thought-based reality" and a "continuous unfolding out of an illusion."
• The illusion is the belief that there could be "something more than what's happening right now," as "more is a story. More is imagination."
• The questioning continued to strip away concepts like "God," "Atman," and "light," emphasizing pure presence beyond any definable attribute.
• The final moments involved contemplating what lies "between the light and the dark" and acknowledging the ongoing nature of the experience.

"The unfolding out of an illusion. That there could be something more than what's happening right now."