From Technical Excellence to Leadership: Understanding Yourself First

The Role of Executive Coaching for Leaders [00:39]

• Executive coaching aims to help leaders trust themselves to build operational systems that enable them to function at their highest potential.
• It addresses systems that may not be designed for the human brain, leading to "technical debt" or other human-centric inefficiencies.
• Coaching focuses on intrapersonal understanding, not just interpersonal interactions, encouraging leaders not to override their own needs or perpetuate suboptimal practices.
• The goal is to identify what works best for the individual, build those systems, iterate on them, and advocate for necessary resources to increase engagement with enjoyable tasks and decrease engagement with draining ones.
• For newly promoted managers who were previously strong technologists, coaching can help them navigate the transition to people management by understanding that people are not just technology.

"And a lot of leadership development focuses on interactions with others. And from my point of view, what needs to happen is not just the interpersonal, but the intrapersonal understanding and not overriding your needs, not being a bad boss to yourself..." [01:41]

Leveraging Data and Strengths for Team Management [02:52]

• Start with known data and uncover what is known but not yet articulated or taken for granted, such as personal strengths.
• Understand individual strengths and how they complement those of team members, recognizing that people are not carbon copies.
• Acknowledging the diversity of capabilities and competencies within a team is normal and desirable for filling different roles and responsibilities.
• The focus should be on reducing friction in interactions and also on self-awareness: identifying personal strengths and areas where help is needed.
• Personal capacity for ambiguity, emotions, and pushback can vary and be predictable, allowing for scheduling adjustments (e.g., blocking time for one-on-one meetings to limit context switching).

"So, it's understanding what you do best and what the role requires in general and then what do other people need? What are their strengths that maybe complement yours?" [03:23]

Designing for Personal Strengths and Flow [05:25]

• Understanding one's strengths and the "why" behind them is crucial for a strength-based approach to designing work that incorporates more of what one excels at.
• This extends to collaboration styles, tools, and acquired knowledge; deeper familiarity with certain areas can allow for taking more risks.
• Understanding personal flow and cadence, and how it maps to business and interpersonal responsibilities, is essential. This includes recognizing burnout cycles or tendencies to overcommit.
• It's important to acknowledge natural cycles, such as those experienced by people who menstruate, which can influence decision-making at certain times.
• Coaching involves identifying aspirations that may not be currently accessible and exploring the root cause and core values behind these desires, rather than focusing solely on the outward manifestation.

"It's not about this is what it looks like on the outside, but what does it feel like on the inside and what are the other 999 possibilities for meeting that internal need?" [03:36]

Iterative Development for Personal Growth [09:02]

• Applying iterative development principles to personal growth means "engineering a life" that feels fulfilling and has self-sustaining systems.
• Individuals are the users of their own brains and lives, requiring self-work to eliminate friction and frustration.
• This involves non-judgmental acceptance of strengths and areas of weakness, and understanding one's "operating system" through methods like journaling, coaching, or informal 360 feedback.
• Executive functions (planning, managing, following through), processing modalities, and learning styles are key aspects of this operating system.
• The process involves identifying maladaptive learned behaviors or beliefs and iteratively chipping away at them, similar to shipping and testing small features in product development.

"You're engineering your life. You're engineering a life that feels fulfilling. systems that support you and that sustain themselves without you having to constantly maintain them." [09:20]

Navigating Collaboration and Neurodiversity [14:39]

• For individuals uncomfortable with collaborative social environments or small talk, strategies include advocating for needs (e.g., preferring agendas, async communication) and phrasing discomforts as requests for help.
• The principle of reciprocity can be applied by giving others an opportunity to help first, fostering a collaborative dynamic.
• Collaboration can be gradually expanded from one-on-one settings to small groups or safer environments like Toastmasters.

• Obstacles can be mechanical (e.g., processing difficulties) or mindset-related (e.g., fear of looking foolish), requiring different approaches.

• When working with team members who have acknowledged ADHD, the first step is to ask them directly about their needs and how to best support them.

• Common challenges for neurodivergent individuals include rejection sensitivity, stemming from past experiences of not being understood or heard.
• This principle of asking for needs and offering support extends beyond neurodivergent individuals and applies to anyone experiencing high ambiguity, low resources, or high visibility.

"Ask them. One person with ADHD is one person with ADHD. Like there are lots of commonalities and as you you noted like there are stereotypes for a reason but especially with people who are extremely smart, brilliant and capable often very self-aware but with huge blind spots." [17:39]

The "Twice Exceptional" Paradox and Universal Applicability [20:15]

• Many high-performing individuals, especially in tech, may be "twice exceptional," possessing high intelligence alongside executive function challenges.
• This creates a paradox where their potential is significantly greater, but the gap between potential and consistent daily performance is also wider, leading to greater emotional impacts.
• For these individuals, simple administrative or rote tasks can be extremely difficult, while complex, novel problems are often easy and engaging. This is the inverse of the typical correlation between difficulty and complexity.
• Misinterpreting this can lead managers to reduce the difficulty of tasks, inadvertently removing the engaging work and leaving only the draining drudgery.
• Communicating this effectively involves stating that complex tasks come easily, while routine tasks are challenging and require more support, acknowledging the potential mismatch in conception.

"So, how that applies in a work setting is the more administrative or wrote functions or the things that are about doing things again and again. consistency I guess those are the things which tend to drop off and where people may need more support whereas the things which are more complex more moving parts hasn't been done before like oh this feels like almost impossible to most people never ever cut that out for people who operate well in that space..." [21:38]

The Curbcut Effect and Human Complexity [24:13]

• The relevance of these discussions extends beyond ADHD or engineering because human beings are complex and not robots, operating on multiple axes rather than a single spectrum.
• What is considered "normal" is often system-dependent and observer-dependent, and most people do not fit neatly into an idealized "average box."
• This diversity offers flexibility, but systems must also flex to accommodate different needs, rather than expecting individuals to perpetually fit into rigid structures.
• Tools and technologies can provide support, and these principles are context-dependent and apply to everyone, not just specific neurotypes.
• In times of geopolitical or economic instability, and with trends towards more top-down management, people are more prone to executive functioning challenges. Stress and major life changes can trigger fight-or-flight responses, amplifying these challenges for many, not just those with ADHD.
• The "curbcut effect" applies here: accommodations designed for specific groups can benefit a wider population, acknowledging that we all function differently and have varying needs at different times.

"Human beings are complex and we're not robots. We do operate on not only a spectrum which implies one well two dimensions like but multiple axes." [24:31]