How to Stop Being Overlooked & Start Getting What You Want With Top Business School Professor

The Power of Amplification and Dreaming Out Loud [0:00]

• Taking Cooley's teachings to heart can help you amplify anything you desire in life, whether it's a career change, becoming an author, or an entrepreneur.
• "Dreaming out loud" means knowing what you want and being willing to ask for it.
• The biggest hurdles are discerning what you truly want amidst information overload and overcoming the fear of rejection.

  "all of that is available to you if you are willing to put yourself out there and get over your cringe and build those dreams out loud."

Cooley's Nine Lives and the Peanut Butter Venture [1:30]

• Cooley describes herself as having "nine careers," starting as a management consultant for four years before feeling empty and hitting a dead end.
• She pivoted to marketing for a food and beverage company but was rejected by all due to lack of experience, leading her to start her own peanut butter company.
• Despite FDA approval and a commercial space, she realized within 18 months that the peanut butter business was going to fail.

  "I had this really great idea. I mean, I love nut butter. I probably consume half of my calories from nut butter."

Feeling Behind and the MBA Pivot [3:50]

• At 28, Cooley felt significantly behind her peers who were getting promoted and attending business school.
• This feeling of being "late" and having "screwed up" is a universal experience.
• She returned to school to get her MBA, laser-focused on marketing in the food and beverage industry, specifically aiming for Coca-Cola.

  "And ah, Mel, I'm feeling very behind. Yes. Okay. Very behind."

The Coca-Cola Offer and "Moxie" [5:40]

• Cooley networked extensively to secure a job at Coca-Cola, impressing the interview team with her unique background.
• She was hired because she demonstrated "Moxie," showing how her past "failures" and unique experiences served her well.
• Her "peanut butter girl" story made her stand out from other candidates.

  "And when they called me and made me an offer for this job, they said, we hired you because you have Moxie."

Motherhood and a New Calling [7:10]

• After working at Coca-Cola and progressing in her career, Cooley had two children quickly after each other.
• She faced the challenge of balancing demanding work hours with motherhood, feeling like she was at a dead end.
• An email from her favorite business school professor offered her a chance to apply for a full-time marketing faculty position.

  "And then I thought, wait, I'm sorry, how am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to work this many hours and have children?"

The Thursday Night Class and Teaching Success [8:30]

• Cooley took an adjunct position teaching a class at 6:30 p.m. on Thursdays, a time typically difficult to fill.
• She proved her ability to teach, and the class became very popular.
• She now teaches one of the most popular classes at Emory Business School.

  "And they're like, obviously we can't find a real faculty to teach at this time. So we'll put you in here and you prove to us that you can be good at this job."

The Attention Economy and Breaking Through [10:30]

• Cooley teaches advanced marketing strategy and content marketing, focusing on the "attention economy."
• With 1.3 billion posts daily on Instagram alone, human attention is the limiting factor.
• The challenge is not only to direct your own attention but also to capture others' limited attention to build a business or convey a message.

  "Our bottleneck, our limiting factor is the amount of time that we have available to us. That is the attention economy."

"Go Viral, Get an A" Assignment [13:00]

• Cooley's philosophy: "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I will learn."
• The "Go Viral, Get an A" assignment challenges students to create content that goes viral, proving they understand the science of sticky ideas.
• A sticky idea is memorable and cuts through the massive volume of daily messages (6,000-10,000 per person).

  "If you go viral, I'll give you an A because you've done it. You've understood the science of sticky ideas."

The "Peanut Butter Girl" Sticky Idea [15:40]

• Cooley uses her "peanut butter girl" story as an example of a sticky idea that made her memorable and helped her land the Coca-Cola job.
• This concept applies to anyone wanting to be memorable in applications, job interviews, or social connections.
• If you're not memorable, you become forgettable, which can be a painful realization.

  "I bet if you take an interruption right now and you're like, hey, what was that woman talking about? The thing that you're going to come back and say, peanut butter girl."

The "Go Viral" Experiment and Results [17:00]

• The assignment involves 30 groups posting daily for 30 days on their own accounts.
• In 2022, the algorithm rewarded consistent daily posting, and the experiment achieved 10 million impressions and over 1 million likes in 30 days with a "baby account."
• The process involves iterating on ideas, discussing what works, and building upon previous content.

  "And by day 30, cumulatively, we had hit 10 million impressions over 1 million likes. 30 days, baby account."

The Deeper Barrier: Fear [19:00]

• The core obstacle to "dreaming out loud" and amplifying oneself is fear.
• When you put yourself out there, you risk not getting what you want or being ignored, both of which feel awful.
• Our brains are wired to protect us from social rejection, which triggers the same areas as physical pain.

  "Two things can happen that you're not going to like. One of them is that you don't get it, right? And the other one is that you get ignored."

The Fear of Being Ignored [20:30]

• Beyond fear of criticism, there's a deeper fear of no one caring or noticing your efforts.
• This fear of social rejection is deeply ingrained.
• The way forward is to use your rational brain and understand that being ignored, while uncomfortable, is survivable and offers learning opportunities.

  "It's so deep within us to be scared that nobody will care about us."

Overcoming Cringe and Social Rejection [22:30]

• Cringe is the feeling associated with social rejection or doing something society might deem as bragging or self-promotion.
• Cooley suggests that if it feels "cringy," you might be doing it wrong, or you need to push through it.
• Authenticity and preparation can help mitigate the cringe factor.

  "But I think if that's how it feels, you're doing it wrong."

Research: What Works for Career Progression [24:30]

• Research on 3,000 "high potential" individuals revealed different career progression tactics for men and women.
• For men, taking external opportunities and communicating willingness to work long hours were key.
• For women, the single most impactful attribute was communicating their achievements.

  "So for men, it is taking opportunities externally and showing them off internally, like, look what I'm worth."

Women and Communicating Achievements [26:00]

• Cooley finds this research exciting because women often believe doing good work is enough, but it's not.
• Women don't have to feel punished for not working excessive hours due to life stages; they need to communicate the results of their work.
• The mistake is assuming someone will notice your contributions without you highlighting them.

  "And instead, all we have to do is the work and then communicate what results that work led to, that's what it's going to take to get paid more."

Amplifying Contributions in the Workplace [27:30]

• Managers are busy and receive many messages daily; employees who consistently demonstrate team accomplishments and make their boss look good are more likely to advance.
• Don't cross your fingers hoping your boss is thinking about you; proactively illustrate your contributions.
• Sharing achievements isn't bragging; it's about illustrating how you've contributed to organizational goals, which can reduce cringe.

  "And so if one of your 10 direct reports is always demonstrating, this is what our team has accomplished, like if they are the ones that are making you, the boss, look good, I think it's not surprising that that person would advance."

Strategic Career Planning and Communication [29:30]

• Dedicate time (e.g., two hours per quarter) to career planning, considering organizational priorities and rewarded attributes.
• Share achievements before performance reviews, using visuals and volunteering to present results in meetings.
• The person who volunteers to speak, even if it's uncomfortable, often reaps the rewards.

  "So the time to share your achievements is way before the review."

Building a Portable Reputation [31:30]

• In today's job market with shorter tenures, a "portable reputation" or personal brand is crucial.
• Your online presence (e.g., LinkedIn) is vital, as 98% of people will look you up before a meeting.
• Your profile should quickly convey who you are, the problems you solve, and your brand attributes (e.g., innovative, tech-savvy).

  "And so you need a portable reputation and that's really where the idea of personal brand comes from."

The Genius of Asking "What Does Success Look Like?" [34:00]

• A student once asked Cooley on the first day of class, "What do I have to do to be successful?" This directness led to their success.
• Most people don't ask this question, leading to guesswork and frustration with bosses.
• Asking for clarity on expectations is a powerful way to ensure you meet them and excel.

  "Please tell me exactly what I need to do and how I need to behave in order to be wildly successful working for you and wildly successful within that company."

Demonstrating Value and Initiative [36:00]

• Another student, wanting to be a TA, detailed their qualifications and offered to help with the difficult task of grading papers, demonstrating initiative and understanding of needs.
• This contrasts with students who only want "sexy projects."
• Demonstrating value and offering to help with essential, even less glamorous, tasks can set you apart.

  "I understand that the job is grading papers. And I still want that job. I'm hoping I have access to your research, but I understand that the way to be helpful to you is by grading papers."

Showing Up and Being Prepared in Meetings [38:00]

• In virtual meetings, turn your camera on and look professional.
• Prepare for meetings by understanding the agenda, attendees, and having one or two key points to share.
• This preparation provides confidence and makes you stand out from those who "bumble around."

  "And what are the one or two nuggets that you're going to slip in? Mel, nobody does that."

Strategic Meeting Presence and Early Arrival [40:00]

• Arrive at meetings early, especially if senior leaders or potential mentors are present, to gain valuable one-on-one time.
• In hybrid work environments, show up in person more often than prescribed to increase face time and opportunities.
• Dress for the job you want, projecting professionalism and preparedness.

  "And if you're the one that is also there a little bit early, it's a one-on-one for three minutes."

Overcoming Discomfort and Building Confidence [42:00]

• For those uncomfortable putting themselves out there, preparedness is key to building confidence.
• Introverts can prepare notes or research beforehand to contribute relevant, well-thought-out points.
• Using an index card or notes shows preparation and a desire to "get it right."

  "If you are introverted or you have a lot of self-doubt and fear about having the attention on you or having to speak in public and not setting yourself up so that you have to both have words come out of your mouth and manage fear at the same time is a massive tip."

Researching Competition and Industry Trends [44:00]

• Researching competitors and industry trends, even early in your career, can provide valuable insights and contributions.
• Sharing articles or statistics about the industry can impress managers and demonstrate initiative.
• This proactive approach works for anyone, especially those feeling junior or new to a company culture.

  "Anytime you research what the competition is doing, anytime you look into the industry that you're in and you say, hey, I don't know if you guys probably saw the article in the New York Times or did you know, I just read this, you know, in consumer reports that buying is down 15% with this demographic."

Essential Skills in a Brutal Job Market [45:30]

• Despite a "brutal" job market, resourcefulness, effective networking, and tech-savviness are crucial.
• Critical reasoning is the most important and lacking skill; the ability to foresee problems and solve them proactively.
• Don't just hit "submit" online; network and talk to people, as many jobs are unlisted.

  "And if you can be someone that demonstrates, I think, I foresee the problems we're going to face and I solve them before they happen, I do not immediately ask a question. I try to answer it myself. I am a critical thinker. You will rise to the top."

Demonstrating Value Proactively [47:30]

• Instead of just applying, proactively demonstrate your skills and value.
• Offer to do work, like editing or writing, or propose new ideas (e.g., podcast guests) to show initiative and potential contribution.
• This proactive approach can impress potential employers and open doors to unlisted opportunities.

  "And another thing you can do is you could actually do the work and say, I pulled this together. I think I could do, and I've edited this or I've done that or I've written this. Check it out and demonstrate what you can do."

Navigating AI and Developing Critical Thinking [49:00]

• Get comfortable with AI tools by experimenting with them for tasks to save time.
• Critical thinking will become the most rare and valuable skill as AI can perform many tasks easily.
• Not understanding the underlying principles behind AI-generated output is a path to job obsolescence.

  "More importantly, if that's the only thing you can do, within six months, AI can do that without you."

Cultivating Critical Reasoning and Attention Span [50:30]

• Developing critical thinking requires quiet time, free from constant input, to ponder and solve problems.
• Critical reasoning and attention span are intertwined; controlling your attention unlocks critical reasoning.
• The practice of controlling your attention is essential for deep thought and problem-solving.

  "So no aids, quiet time, turn off, right? And that has to do, I think, critical reasoning and attention span are very, very closely intertwined."

The Core Action: Know What You Want [51:30]

• The most critical action is to know what you want before you can ask for it.
• Your attention is your greatest resource in a world vying for it; consciously direct it.
• Magic often happens "off your phone"; put it down to plan the life you want.

  "You need to know what you want before you can ask for what you want."

The Bonus: Get a Hobby [52:30]

• In an overwhelming world, having a hobby provides an "off duty" identity and reduces pressure from obligations.
• Trying new hobbies naturally involves making a fool of yourself, which is excellent practice for putting yourself out there.
• Hobbies make you interesting, memorable, and provide joy and connection.

  "One way to go off duty, it is to do a hobby. So fall in love with something and give yourself a third identity, which takes a lot of the pressure off all of those other things."